A guy walks into a bar jokes:....... All from a thread in LinkedIn. "Does anyone have any good jokes about a man walking into a bar? "
1.Cheers....
“Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
2.An Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar.
The Scotsman ducked.
3. A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
4. AN ENGLISHMAN, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, an American, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, a Panamanian, an Italian, a Cambodian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Frenchman, a Swede, a Canadian, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Papua New Guinean, a Serb, a Czech, a Brazilian, and a Swiss man approach an Upscale Bar.
The bouncer says, "Sorry gents, I can't let you in without a Thai . . . "
5. A man walks into a bar and sees a Panda sitting on a barstool. The Panda orders his favorite craft brew from the beertender and pours it down quickly eating a basket of tater tots. When he's finsished the Panda pulls out a gun and shoots the fellow and walks out. No one does anything!
Startled the man grabs another beertender and says, "Did you see that, the Panda just shot that fellow and left". The beertender says, "No worries, he does that all the time. The Panda always eats shoots and leaves."
6. A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer...
And a mop.
7. A roast beef sandwich walks in to a bar and orders a lager.
"Sorry," says the bartender, "we don't serve food in here."
8. A Neutron Walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He downs it, and asks the bartender, "How much"?
The Bartender says.....'For you......no charge!
9. A giraffe walks into a bar and says, "highballs on me!".
The last one...
10. A man walks into the Dry Gultch Bar in Nevada and sees a sign "Beer 50 cents". Not believing the sign he asks the bartender to confirm the price. Yup! .50 cents a draft. He immediately orders two. A few moments later he asks the bartender why is the beer so cheap? The bartender said, I won $150 million in the California State Lottery and always wanted to open a bar in Nevada and have the cheapest beer in the State. The man then orders two more. Looking down the bar he notices a group of people standing, talking but not drinking. He asked the bartender why are they not drinking beer. The bartender replied, "Oh they are all from Florida and they are waiting for half price happy hour".
