There is a product called VSR. It will do everything you want. It is "Smart" and senses what is going on. It will charge the low battery more, the charge equally, discharge equally down to something like 11 volts. Then it will stop one from discharging and only use one (while the engine is off and you are running a radio for example). Then when it comes time to start the engine, the VSR will see the demand and allow the other battery to be available for starting power.